3 Intimacy Mistakes That Worsen Relationship Problems - The Online Relationship Training That Helps

You are wondering if there is a way to fix your relationship problems because things are not the same between you. You used to be able to laugh with each other and have fun together. But now there is anger, isolation and emotional distance. (See this FREE Relationship Training on the key to realizing relationship success)

Perhaps you have tried to get your significant other to talk about the problem(s) but you often end up arguing. Sometimes the arguments start out being about little things then escalate to the point where you wonder if the relationship is worth the stress! Now you are at your wit’s end and wonder if it's worth trying to save the relationship.

Perhaps you found out about your significant other's infidelity. You had suspicions and then you found out for sure that he/she was cheating. Perhaps you've confronted your partner, and now the reality of the situation is hitting you all at once.

You are feeling overwhelming pain and anger. Your marriage/relationship is not what you thought it was. Your spouse/significant other lied to you many times about where he/she was, and who he/she was with. Now you are questioning, “is my relationship just a big lie?”

Perhaps there is no infidelity but you are greatly concerned about the sex in your relationship. You are very frustrated because the sex is either infrequent or happens just for relief. Even though you have tried letting your partner know you are frustrated, there is still no change. Now you find yourself feeling angry often, or perhaps your spouse/significant other is also angry. Anger is often the emotion shown because anger is easiest to access. (See this FREE training to identify 3 misunderstandings fueling the relationship problems.)

Now there are constant arguments or silence, and you have nagging questions that can’t seem to leave your mind. “Does this person really love me?” “Should I even stay in this relationship?”

You ask yourself these questions but still do not have the answers you are searching for. Deep down you want to know how to get the connection and passion you are yearning for. Perhaps the better question to ask is, “how can we fix the problems and move the relationship forward?”

If your desire is to work on your relationship, the following are 3 mistakes you must avoid because they worsen the intimacy in your relationship:

Mistake #1 – Believing Intimacy and Sex are the Same

Intimacy is not the same as sex. The belief that sex and intimacy are the same, often leads to the faulty reasoning that if you just get some sexy underwear, learn new sex techniques and force yourself to endure more sex with your partner, the problem will be fixed.

However, just because you've gotten a more attractive wardrobe or learned new techniques does not mean the intimacy will return. In fact, if the relationship problems are not properly addressed things are likely to get worse. Why is that? Because now that you have tried "fixing" what you believe is the problem and it has not worked, you are likely to feel remorse, shame, or defeat. Unfortunately, when people predominantly feel bad, they tend to make poor choices and worsen the problem. See this FREE Relationship Training showing 3 common misunderstandings that harm intimacy in relationships.

Mistake #2 – Believing the Subject of the Constant Argument is the Problem

Another mistake is believing the thing you and your partner are arguing about is the problem. for example, if you are arguing about your partner's cheating, you may believe the cheating itself is the problem. Similarly, arguments about major issues such as finance, or smaller issues such as shoes being left at the door, are not the problem. That thing you are arguing about is only a symptom of the problem, and if the actual problem(s) is not addressed it could lead to bitterness and resentment.

If you are like most people thinking the thing is the problem, you might believe the answer is to control that thing, e.g., check your partner's phone, constantly remind him/her what to do, or say the same things over and over in desperate hopes of being heard.

However, when you try to control your partner, after a while you become insecure, controlling, resentful, and exhausted. And even after trying so hard to control what your spouse/significant other does, you eventually realize that you can’t really control another person’s actions. Trying to control your partner moves you away from having the relationship security you are yearning for.

Mistake #3 – Believing that Saying the Same Thing Over and Over is Communicating

The third mistake is constantly saying the same thing over and over again in efforts to communicate your wants to your partner. While talking is one method of communicating, talking does not automatically mean you are communicating.

Likewise, the fact that your partner is not speaking does not mean he/she is listening. Sometimes the silence leaves you feeling isolated and even more frustrated. This absence of true communication worsens the relationship intimacy and moves you farther away from the relationship happiness that you are yearning for.

Here’s the Answer – Fix the Intimacy Issues in Your Relationship

Since your relationship belongs to you and your partner, it is better to spend your time and energy fixing the problems between you. In order to do this, you will need to:

1. Find out what are the problems in your relationship so you can fix them
2. Get good at communicating with your partner so both can get the real answers to your crucial questions
3. Repair the trust that has been broken in the relationship, while building the passion and intimacy in the relationship

If you are ready to fix the problem(s) and have the relationship you desire, check out our online personal development course entitled:

Conflict Resolution – Moving From Isolation To Intimacy. 

This is an online course, therefore, you can go at your own pace. Also, you can conveniently view the course either on your own or with your partner on a mobile, tablet, computer or smart tv device.

The course will help you discover the problems in your relationship and show you how to fix them. It will let you know the right words to say and what to do to improve the communication. Specifically, the course will help you in these 3 ways: 

1. Reveal Effective Conflict Resolution Skills

Often times a fundamental issue affecting your relationship is that there are layers of conflicts that have not been resolved. Some of these conflicts have been going on for years, with newer conflicts piling on top. In order to fix the problem, it is crucial that you learn the skills necessary to identify and resolve the actual problems.

This course contains modules that break down how you are unknowingly, contributing to the relationship problems. After telling you what you are doing wrong, it then shows you how to correct it, for good.

2. Uncover Effective Communication Skills

Think about the last argument you had with your partner. How did you feel about yourself after that argument? Perhaps you felt very angry, or perhaps you just cried because it was clear that your partner just did not get you. 

Now imagine that you have learned the right words to say, and what to do during an argument. Then, imagine having an argument about the same thing, only this time, you have learned and implemented the effective communication skills. Now your partner can really hear you and understand where you are coming from. And now after having that argument, you can relax and even laugh with your partner because you feel heard, valued, and understood! This is power of effective communication! 

3. Show How to Build the Intimacy In Your Relationship

Often, painful experiences such as infidelity or verbal put downs can adversely impact the intimacy in the relationship. This is because when your feelings are hurt it causes incredible pain, anger, and leads to the erosion of trust in the relationship. When trust is broken, it cripples the intimacy in the relationship.

Intimacy is not the same as sex. Sex is intercourse between two people, while intimacy is the degree to which you are able to let your emotional guard down and be vulnerable with your partner. The ideal situation is for you and your partner to have sex as frequently as you both desire, while also having the level of intimacy, passion, and emotional connection that makes you greatly enjoy being together.

This course is powerfully designed to fix your relationship and show you how to build trust even after years of emotional hurt, while increasing the intimacy and passion in your relationship. 

Conclusion

When infidelity and other problems occur in a marriage/intimate relationship they cause isolation and pain. Often, this is so overwhelming that you end up making 3 mistakes that further harm your relationship.

Making the mistake of believing sex and intimacy are the same, believing the subject of the constant argument is the problem, or believing that saying the same thing over and over is communicating results in your feeling frustrated, resentful and exhausted. Instead, work on finding out the real problem(s) in your marriage/relationship, get the answers to your crucial questions, and build the trust and intimacy in your relationship.

Our online personal development course will give you the guidance you need to get the solid relationship you desire, i.e., conflict resolution skills, communication skills and intimacy building skills.